Discovering Myself One Page at a Time

• “I remember a piece of advice that Ms. Thoms gave her freshman classes: all you have to do is pick up a book and read. Don’t doubt yourself, don’t question if it’s boring, just read it. Why? It allows you to build your vocabulary skills, use your time productively, and, most importantly, allows you to learn life lessons on a normal day-to-day basis. Reading is also just fun!” —Nudrath Sowkat, sophomore.
• “Over time, what I also realized was that it’s okay for my reading choices and preferences to change, because the whole point is for me to explore my hobby to the deepest extent.” —Nudrath Sowkat, sophomore
  

I remember walking around the schoolyard during recess in third grade and seeing a girl reading Judy Moody. Excited to see someone who loved reading as I did, we became friends almost instantly. We talked about elementary school classics, our favorite books, and different genres for what felt like hours—though in reality, it was only 30 minutes. My hobby of reading goes way back. When I say way back, I mean it.

It all started in elementary school—pre-K to be exact. Every Friday, my classmates and I would sit on the alphabet-lettered rug in front of our teacher, who would read to us books primarily filled with pictures and minimal words. Still, it was the calm, peaceful mood that these books put me in that encouraged my love for reading. On any other day, my classmates would be obnoxiously loud, but on these reading days, the positivity spread to them, too.

One Friday, my teacher pulled out a new book for us: The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The vivid illustration of the green and red caterpillar and the red apple it loved to eat instantly snagged my attention. It’s a simple book, but as a four-year-old, I was absolutely mesmerized. The book’s imagery, colors, storyline, and simple words allowed me to develop a deep appreciation for books.

Though the picture books and simple paperbacks I read in my early years of elementary school began my reading journey, my true reading preferences developed in first grade, as I started to explore more complex book options. There was a section in my school schedule called “Library Time” during which my class and I would be taken to the library for an hour, usually three times per week. Our librarian would teach us about book browsing, providing tips and tricks for finding the perfect book to read.

One day, the librarian finally allowed us to browse for books on our own. Although I loved learning about the real world, I immediately sprinted for the fiction section. As a six-year-old, I felt as if I had been given free rein to rule the world. Maybe that’s a stretch, but picking my own book, based on my interests, made me feel free. As I browsed through my many options, I noticed that my peers had already picked their books, and I was still empty-handed. That’s when the librarian recommended that I read the books’ blurbs. As per her advice, I stopped only consulting the covers and began reading the backs of the books, which made the hunt for the perfect read much easier. After a few more minutes, I finally found the perfect book: Owl Diaries. After reading the first book after school, I immediately became so engrossed that my fingers itched to get a hold of the rest of the series. Week after week, my interest in reading grew; after finishing the Owl Diaries relatively quickly, the school librarian offered me many book recommendations that each earned their spot on my wishlist. 

Fast forward to third grade, and my reading choices had become sophisticated compared to my younger years. One thing I will always remember is the reading level and Lexile score tests I was forced to take. I remember being pulled out of class into the hallway, and having a teacher test me on how well I could “coherently read a sentence.” In all seriousness, these tests would leave me feeling down just because I couldn’t pronounce a word like “paranoia” or “rhinoceros.” How was I supposed to know that my ability to read hard words determined my reading level, which was expressed as a letter grade? My reading test in third grade went fairly well, and I remember my teacher recommending a series named Dork Diaries. I took her up on the recommendation, and oh my god, how I fell in love with those books. I absolutely loved them, and that was when my true love for reading really kicked in. I knew it was a turning point because I physically wasn’t able to put any of those books down. The suspense and utmost desire to know what would happen next always overtook me, and before I knew it, I had finished the entire series.

My extensive reading logs—which my teachers made me fill in each night—were proof of my devotion to books. Now, I never really had an issue with those reading logs, but I didn’t understand their true purpose. Yes, they tracked my progress, but I also remember peers filling in their logs with names of books they had never actually read. As a third grader, I didn’t think much of it. Now, as a sophomore, I’ve noticed that it was those same classmates who lied on their logs that struggled during reading aloud time and during reading tests, because they never did the “boring” or “useless” reading homework. Although a dislike for reading is valid, I’m a believer in the phrase, “don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” It never hurts to pick up a book and see how far you can get or how much you actually like. Besides, there are endless options, and I believe that there really is a book for everyone. Having learned so much from reading, I want others to feel the same joy that I do while immersed in a book. Being committed to a hobby like reading isn’t a bad thing, and what you learn along the way is what matters most. Being confident in my hobby really impacted my reading journey, right as I hit middle school.

It was in sixth grade that I realized that for English class, we would read a different book each unit as a class. In elementary school, we had independent reading time and read-alouds, none of which were geared toward specific lessons. One book of poetry that I read in sixth grade, Good Masters! Sweet Lady!, really stuck out to me. What I loved about these class readings was that after each session, we would discuss the book or topic. I was always eager to participate in these discussions, not because I cared about my grade (which I did), but because I always had something to say. My commentary came from deep within me, and no matter how much that statement makes me recoil with cringe, it’s unfathomably true. Whether it was the plot, character, setting, storyline, or even a question, there was something on my mind that I had to share.

In seventh grade, my reading preferences took a swing. We had started a new unit centered around the book Bud Not Buddy. This book explained the morals and challenges a little boy had to face as he grew older. It was a story of resilience and survival, which deeply resonated with me. I had faced many of my own personal challenges throughout the years, and this book reminded me not to give up during times of struggle. It was then that it occurred to me how relatable books could really be and how they could teach life lessons. Through this experience, I developed a liking for realistic, historical, and scientific fiction books. Some classics that I had read were Animal Farm and Lord of the Flies. Both tackle important themes of power and social structures. Over time, what I also realized was that it’s okay for my reading choices and preferences to change, because the whole point is for me to explore my hobby to the deepest extent.

Then comes high school, where everything actually became real. Freshman Composition—shout-out to Ms. Thoms for being an amazing teacher—was a great experience. Why? I just absolutely loved the books and different writing styles I got to read. Not only did I enjoy them, but I found myself relating and finding common themes between different works. One book in particular, The Poet X, was so heavy and taught me an important lesson: It is difficult to choose between two very important things, but with courage, it is possible. The novel is written in verse, in a way that allows each character to have a voice of their own. The lessons in this book were relatable, and this factor was further developed through Ms. Thoms’s teaching style. She made each lesson connect to a personal level, and always asked opinionated questions that helped me develop my understanding.

My love for reading has shaped me as a human being today by influencing my morals and perspective on life, which was pretty unexpected. However, I will admit that nowadays, it is harder for me to find the free time to read a good book of my liking, excluding the ones I’m required to read for class. I do try to read over the weekend or during other free time. Whenever I begin to fear that this will cause me to enter a reading slump, I remember a piece of advice that Ms. Thoms gave her freshman classes: all you have to do is pick up a book and read. Don’t doubt yourself, don’t question if it’s boring, just read it. Why? It allows you to build your vocabulary skills, use your time productively, and, most importantly, learn life lessons on a normal day-to-day basis. Reading is also just fun! So, is reading boring for many? Absolutely. Is it boring for me? Absolutely not. My passion for reading is alive today because I didn’t give up on it. If you truly have a passion, desire, or liking towards anything at all, fulfill it to your potential—whether that be by reading, writing, baking, or committing to any other interest. Take Ms. Thom’s advice to heart, because I did, and it undoubtedly benefited me. It’s safe to say that my reading journey has been a rollercoaster, experiencing changes along the way, but it has only allowed me to grow as a person and will likely enable me to continue growing. It’s safe to say that I don’t plan to give up my strength for reading anytime soon.