Humor
The Cabinet of Abominations
By Adeline Sauberli, Astrid Harrington
Surprised by some of Trump’s recent cabinet picks? He can explain.
Thanksgiving Dinner: The Turkeys Fight Back
By Selina Lin
A turkey group plans their resistance to the slaughter of their kind during the Thanksgiving season.
A Turkey Social Experiment
By Jake Chan
Stuyvesant freshmen simulate the feelings of turkeys before Thanksgiving
The Cabinet of Abominations
By Adeline Sauberli, Astrid Harrington
Surprised by some of Trump’s recent cabinet picks? He can explain.
Why Is It So Hard To Commit Election Fraud?!
By Selina Lin
A would-be election fraudster attempts to foil the 2024 Election.
Mars Bars and Mickey Mouse: The Stuy Student’s Guide to Movies for This Halloween Season
I’d like to extend a generous invitation to read this compilation of the Disney Halloween movies that Stuyvesant students will relate to the most.
The Ultimate ‘Why Us?’ College Essay
By Daniella Solomon, Sasha Ruinsky
Average student writes a totally ordinary “Why us?” college essay.
Getting Personal: The Edits of Stuyvesant’s College Essays
With early applications done, The Spectator asked students and teachers what the worst part of the essay editing process was.
Not Clickbait! Stuyvesant High School's Faculty Halloween Cooking Contest, Now Live!
By Selina Lin
A student documents the treats at the annual Stuyvesant faculty’s Halloween cooking contest.
Stuyves-haunt High School
By Lina Zheng
A student walks into Stuyvesant High School, but everything is extremely weird and a little suspicious.
US Congress, Where The Only Thing Being Passed Is The Zombie Virus
By Eli Smith
Zombies have taken over the US Congress, but has anything changed?
The Pipette Ghost
By Fiona Chen
A Stuy senior gets haunted by a chemistry-loving, pipette-shaped ghost, but more so by the thought of being rejected from college.
The Manifesto of the People’s Republic of Stuyvesant High School
The tyrannical Student Union, which was a mere front for the oppressive robotique class, was overthrown last Friday by teacher Karla Stalinan and her senior student Vladislava Leninova. Here is our vision for the new regime, ruled by YOU, the people.
Looking in the (Couch) Crack
By Jubaida Shahriar, Munem Tajwar
The salacious news of JD Vance's affair with a couch shocked the American public, but letters between the two reveal their relationship was much more than a hook-up.
What Not to Do at Thanksgiving Dinner
By Dale Heller, Gabriella Hoefner
A comprehensive list of bad Thanksgiving habits to avoid.
MatchGPT: Love Has Never Been More Real!
An advertisement for a new dating app that relies on AI technology.
Stuy Speaks For the Trees
By Diya Mallu
Principal Yu goes to new extremes to ‘save the trees,’ leading to unintended student fallout.
A Strange SATurday
You’ve found a way to break the system and take the paper SAT instead of the digital version.
Stuyvesant Experiences Insane Blackout!
By Alexis Qian
Exclusive coverage on Stuyvesant’s recent blackout! I cannot see what I’m writing (please help).
The Second Failure of Congestion Pricing
Stuyvesant tries and fails to implement congestion pricing in the sixth floor hallway.
One of Those Rare Times When You Shouldn’t Play the Triangle
A teacher isn’t sure what to do with the five students left in his class, and decides to keep them entertained in various ways.
The Chances of Alien Invasion are High, but Our Percentage of Brainrot is Higher
By Fiona Chen
Aliens exist and seem to have hostile intentions against our race, but our recent astronomically high levels of brainrot have left these aliens unsure of whether or not to put their doomsday plan into motion.
Robotic Rats Rebellion?!?!
By Lina Zheng
A kid tried taking over school with robotic rats unsuccessfully.
4 Ways the Minnesota Timberwolves Could Have Won the Western Conference Finals
By Aahan Shah
If these situations occurred, the Timberwolves would’ve had a better chance at winning the Conference Finals.
Top 5 Ways to Escape From Junior Prom
JProm sounds great until you’re stranded in the middle of the Hudson River with no way to get out. Here are your top 5 ways to fix said dilemma!
An Anthology of Accounts Associated with the Dealer of IDs
a mysterious fake ID dealer sells ids to unsuspecting customers.
Hundreds Left in Shock Post-Camp Stuy
By Jai Shah
The Big Sibs are only responsible for like 63.7 percent of this.
The Rise and Fall of the Stuyvesant Floor
By Ryan Peng
The floors of Stuyvesant host a revolution due to their terrible treatment! Will the Stuyvesant community “step up” to the occasion, or will their plans fall out from under them, just like the floor?
Are You a True Stuy Student?
It is time to say goodbye to the Stuyvesant class of ‘24. But before they go, they have to take this quiz to see if they really lived up to their true “Stuy-potential”.
One of Those Rare Times When You Shouldn’t Play the Triangle
A teacher isn’t sure what to do with the five students left in his class, and decides to keep them entertained in various ways.
The Chances of Alien Invasion are High, but Our Percentage of Brainrot is Higher
By Fiona Chen
Aliens exist and seem to have hostile intentions against our race, but our recent astronomically high levels of brainrot have left these aliens unsure of whether or not to put their doomsday plan into motion.
College Board Changes AP Spanish Test, Leaves Students Baffled
By Selina Lin, Tamiyyah Shafiq
College Board suddenly changes the AP Spanish exam to focus on Dora the Explorer.
Robotic Rats Rebellion?!?!
By Lina Zheng
A kid tried taking over school with robotic rats unsuccessfully.
4 Ways the Minnesota Timberwolves Could Have Won the Western Conference Finals
By Aahan Shah
If these situations occurred, the Timberwolves would’ve had a better chance at winning the Conference Finals.
Top 5 Ways to Escape From Junior Prom
JProm sounds great until you’re stranded in the middle of the Hudson River with no way to get out. Here are your top 5 ways to fix said dilemma!
An Anthology of Accounts Associated with the Dealer of IDs
a mysterious fake ID dealer sells ids to unsuspecting customers.
Hundreds Left in Shock Post-Camp Stuy
By Jai Shah
The Big Sibs are only responsible for like 63.7 percent of this.
The Rise and Fall of the Stuyvesant Floor
By Ryan Peng
The floors of Stuyvesant host a revolution due to their terrible treatment! Will the Stuyvesant community “step up” to the occasion, or will their plans fall out from under them, just like the floor?
Are You a True Stuy Student?
It is time to say goodbye to the Stuyvesant class of ‘24. But before they go, they have to take this quiz to see if they really lived up to their true “Stuy-potential”.
risoned At Stuyvesant
By Muhib Muhib
Trump will get a new prison cell at Stuyvesant High School, and somehow it’s the worst prison cell in history.
The Cabinet of Abominations
By Adeline Sauberli, Astrid Harrington
Surprised by some of Trump’s recent cabinet picks? He can explain.
Thanksgiving Dinner: The Turkeys Fight Back
By Selina Lin
A turkey group plans their resistance to the slaughter of their kind during the Thanksgiving season.
A Turkey Social Experiment
By Jake Chan
Stuyvesant freshmen simulate the feelings of turkeys before Thanksgiving
Looking in the (Couch) Crack
By Jubaida Shahriar, Munem Tajwar
The salacious news of JD Vance's affair with a couch shocked the American public, but letters between the two reveal their relationship was much more than a hook-up.
The Cabinet of Abominations
By Adeline Sauberli, Astrid Harrington
Surprised by some of Trump’s recent cabinet picks? He can explain.
Why Is It So Hard To Commit Election Fraud?!
By Selina Lin
A would-be election fraudster attempts to foil the 2024 Election.
What Not to Do at Thanksgiving Dinner
By Dale Heller, Gabriella Hoefner
A comprehensive list of bad Thanksgiving habits to avoid.
Mars Bars and Mickey Mouse: The Stuy Student’s Guide to Movies for This Halloween Season
I’d like to extend a generous invitation to read this compilation of the Disney Halloween movies that Stuyvesant students will relate to the most.
The Ultimate ‘Why Us?’ College Essay
By Daniella Solomon, Sasha Ruinsky
Average student writes a totally ordinary “Why us?” college essay.
Getting Personal: The Edits of Stuyvesant’s College Essays
With early applications done, The Spectator asked students and teachers what the worst part of the essay editing process was.
Not Clickbait! Stuyvesant High School's Faculty Halloween Cooking Contest, Now Live!
By Selina Lin
A student documents the treats at the annual Stuyvesant faculty’s Halloween cooking contest.
Stuyves-haunt High School
By Lina Zheng
A student walks into Stuyvesant High School, but everything is extremely weird and a little suspicious.
US Congress, Where The Only Thing Being Passed Is The Zombie Virus
By Eli Smith
Zombies have taken over the US Congress, but has anything changed?
The Pipette Ghost
By Fiona Chen
A Stuy senior gets haunted by a chemistry-loving, pipette-shaped ghost, but more so by the thought of being rejected from college.
The Manifesto of the People’s Republic of Stuyvesant High School
The tyrannical Student Union, which was a mere front for the oppressive robotique class, was overthrown last Friday by teacher Karla Stalinan and her senior student Vladislava Leninova. Here is our vision for the new regime, ruled by YOU, the people.
MatchGPT: Love Has Never Been More Real!
An advertisement for a new dating app that relies on AI technology.
Stuy Speaks For the Trees
By Diya Mallu
Principal Yu goes to new extremes to ‘save the trees,’ leading to unintended student fallout.
SHOCKING TEACHERS TAKE ON INTERNET DEBATES (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)
By Astrid Harrington, Erin Cho, Fiona 'Eve' Lin
Ever wanted to know what your favorite teachers, from Ms. Alonso to Mx. Stuzin, think about these controversial questions on the internet? Read this article to find out!
A Strange SATurday
You’ve found a way to break the system and take the paper SAT instead of the digital version.
The Second Failure of Congestion Pricing
Stuyvesant tries and fails to implement congestion pricing in the sixth floor hallway.