Humor
A Modest Proposal for the Stuyvesant Escalators
Why AI-powered overclocking will fix the Stuyvesant escalators.
Which Italian Brainrot Are You?
By Deon Woon
A short, fun quiz to see which Italian Brain Rot character someone is.
Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Reported to the New “End DEI” Web Portal
By Anonymous
The reasons why I shouldn't be reported to the new "End DEI" web portal.
Trump: America to Join War on Poverty “on the Side of Poverty” [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Read President Trump’s brief speech addressed to a joint session of Congress urging America to come to poverty’s aid in the War on Poverty.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
By (!) William Chen, Nicole Lui
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
New Tariffs Will Decimate America[’s McDonald’s]
By Alexis Qian
The latest and of course, very real coverage of the United States’ tariffs.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
Reasons Why Gen Alpha Shouldn’t Be Let into Stuyvesant
By Sara Bhuiyan
The hate for this year’s freshmen is getting outta hand, so we gotta direct it onto another generation.
Facebook Conspiracies
By Nicole Lui
Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell your teacher you urgently need the bathroom for explosive diarrhea because one of the top hats was craving a pizza bagel?
Life of a Second Semester Senior
By Gary Huang
Now that I’m a second-semester senior, I can finally stop pretending to lock in and adopt the unproductive lifestyle I always wanted to live.
The BEST Ways to Get Rejected. Sorry, We Meant how to NEVER Get Rejected.
Well, we heard you want mad rizz? Don’t worry, The Spectator’s Humor department has you covered for this Valentine’s Day. We promise.
The Five Stages of Grief During Test Results
By Adeline Liao
From denial to depression, every Stuy student has had stressful experiences waiting for test results. Here they are outlined in a guide—you’re welcome.
Actually Accurate Nicknames for the 50 States
By John Zeng
Give good nicknames to every state to help you procrastinate.
Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)
Spectator Humor has created a list of the best prankless harms—err, harmless pranks, to try on your teachers.
Four Types of Stuy Students During Exams
By Adeline Liao
What different types of Stuy students are like with something we’re all familiar with: EXAMS.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
K-Pop Fans Branch to North Korean Groups
By Deon Woon
Fans of K-pop become heavily influenced by North Korean K-pop.
Trudeau Resigns: Nothing Ever Happens
By Jai Shah
With Justin Trudeau’s resignation, many seem to expect radical change, yet they ignore the simple truth of Canada’s existence: “Nothing Ever Happens.”
Choral Carols
By Nicole Lui
Stuyvesant’s choral department introduces a new festive policy and Christmas-themed chaos ensues.
The Humor Department’s Favorite Holiday Gifts
Spec waxes nostalgic about their favorite gifts from this holiday season! They’re, uh… definitely gifts.
Deny, Defend, Desire (A Y/N x Luigi Mangione Fanfiction)
By Faiza Rumman, Jiaheng Lukas Yao, Sara Bhuiyan, Syed Ali
Y/N finds out that their one true love, Luigi Mangione, is in jail…the only option now is to break him out.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 8
Some of my friends have been talking about me behind my back, and it’s really bothering me. Should I confront them or just let it go?
Bad Grade Week at Stuy Causes Students to “Tweak Out”
By Diya Mallu, Faiza Rumman, Syed Ali
Students share horror stories from “bad grade week,” a teacher-planned torture experience.
Why Stuyvesant Students Keep Losing Their OMNY Cards
By Deon Woon
Rats from the Subway are stealing Stuyvesant students’ OMNY cards.
I Deleted Google Classroom: It Changed My Life
By Matthew Chen
Deleting Google Classroom was euphoric. Now, I feel completely enlightened. No more am I pressured by constant notifications and FOMO. This is my story.
We Need to Fight the Groundhogs
By Fiona Chen
The cries of help from your local diva who just wants to get to the bottom of things, short attention span and all.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 10
My best friend and I have been drifting apart lately. How can I fix our friendship?
The Ultimate Guide to Ending Up on Santa’s “Naughty” List
Merry Christmas! Since we know you don’t want to end up on Santa’s Naughty list this year, we decided to lend a helping hand by telling you what not to do!
Humor New Year's Resolutions: Stuy & Celebrity Edition
By Erin Cho, Fiona 'Eve' Lin, Myles Vuong
New year, definitely new us…
Trees and Allergy Season: Patreearchy and its Pollenly Consequences
By Selina Lin
The plight of pollen allergies and the patreearchial problems that plague pollinators.
A Modest Proposal for the Stuyvesant Escalators
Why AI-powered overclocking will fix the Stuyvesant escalators.
The Five Stages of Grief During Test Results
By Adeline Liao
From denial to depression, every Stuy student has had stressful experiences waiting for test results. Here they are outlined in a guide—you’re welcome.
Which Italian Brainrot Are You?
By Deon Woon
A short, fun quiz to see which Italian Brain Rot character someone is.
Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Reported to the New “End DEI” Web Portal
By Anonymous
The reasons why I shouldn't be reported to the new "End DEI" web portal.
Actually Accurate Nicknames for the 50 States
By John Zeng
Give good nicknames to every state to help you procrastinate.
Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)
Spectator Humor has created a list of the best prankless harms—err, harmless pranks, to try on your teachers.
Trump: America to Join War on Poverty “on the Side of Poverty” [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Read President Trump’s brief speech addressed to a joint session of Congress urging America to come to poverty’s aid in the War on Poverty.
What if I Didn’t Make it to the Bathroom in Time?
By Lina Zheng
A student is desperately in need of the bathroom.
Four Types of Stuy Students During Exams
By Adeline Liao
What different types of Stuy students are like with something we’re all familiar with: EXAMS.
BREAKING NEWS: Band Room Thrown Into Chaos After Instruments Filled with Bizarre Items
By (!) William Chen, Nicole Lui
Various band students discover their instruments tampered with and find themselves in sticky situations.
New Tariffs Will Decimate America[’s McDonald’s]
By Alexis Qian
The latest and of course, very real coverage of the United States’ tariffs.
Soph-Frosh SING!: A Happy Ending?
[sung to the tune of “Reflection”] Whaaaaat is that show I seeeee, up on thaaaaat, stage for meeeee? Why is SophFrosh SING! something Iiiii paid to seeeee? Writing lyrics is hard, guys.
New Year, New Freshmen: Pre-Freshies React to SHSAT Results
By Faiza Rumman
Pre-freshies react to SHSAT results (TW: major second-hand embarrassment).
St Patrick’s Day: An Underestimated Holiday
By Jake Chan
A leprechaun trying to save St Patrick’s Day invades Stuy and forces people to celebrate the holiday
The Stuy That Cried Fire
By Diya Mallu
Research into the string of recent fire drills reveals the true reasons for the “fires.”
All The BEST Places To Go On A Date In NYC!
The prestigious Spectator (specifically the Humor Department) has already put together a waterproof, fireproof, phone-playing-Brawl-Stars-proof list of the best date locations in this city—and it’s obvious you’re staying in the city.
High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?
Someone please tell me where Senior SING! hid the Kool-Aid, children, and furries.
Reasons Why Gen Alpha Shouldn’t Be Let into Stuyvesant
By Sara Bhuiyan
The hate for this year’s freshmen is getting outta hand, so we gotta direct it onto another generation.
Didn't Wear Your Lab Goggles? You Pay the Price.
By Matthew Chen
The true dangers of not wearing your lab goggles—summoning a Lovecraftian demon.
We Need to Fight the Groundhogs
By Fiona Chen
The cries of help from your local diva who just wants to get to the bottom of things, short attention span and all.
Facebook Conspiracies
By Nicole Lui
Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell your teacher you urgently need the bathroom for explosive diarrhea because one of the top hats was craving a pizza bagel?
Life of a Second Semester Senior
By Gary Huang
Now that I’m a second-semester senior, I can finally stop pretending to lock in and adopt the unproductive lifestyle I always wanted to live.
The BEST Ways to Get Rejected. Sorry, We Meant how to NEVER Get Rejected.
Well, we heard you want mad rizz? Don’t worry, The Spectator’s Humor department has you covered for this Valentine’s Day. We promise.
Student Union Strikes Against Draconian Gaming Ban
The Student Union organizes a strike against Principal Yu banning Brawl Stars and Block Blast.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 10
My best friend and I have been drifting apart lately. How can I fix our friendship?
Vote YES! on Statewide Ballot Proposal Seven this Election
The Spectator proposes several amendments to the New York State Constitution.
K-Pop Fans Branch to North Korean Groups
By Deon Woon
Fans of K-pop become heavily influenced by North Korean K-pop.
Trudeau Resigns: Nothing Ever Happens
By Jai Shah
With Justin Trudeau’s resignation, many seem to expect radical change, yet they ignore the simple truth of Canada’s existence: “Nothing Ever Happens.”
Choral Carols
By Nicole Lui
Stuyvesant’s choral department introduces a new festive policy and Christmas-themed chaos ensues.
The Humor Department’s Favorite Holiday Gifts
Spec waxes nostalgic about their favorite gifts from this holiday season! They’re, uh… definitely gifts.
The Ultimate Guide to Ending Up on Santa’s “Naughty” List
Merry Christmas! Since we know you don’t want to end up on Santa’s Naughty list this year, we decided to lend a helping hand by telling you what not to do!
Deny, Defend, Desire (A Y/N x Luigi Mangione Fanfiction)
By Faiza Rumman, Jiaheng Lukas Yao, Sara Bhuiyan, Syed Ali
Y/N finds out that their one true love, Luigi Mangione, is in jail…the only option now is to break him out.
Quesadilla Clara: Issue 8
Some of my friends have been talking about me behind my back, and it’s really bothering me. Should I confront them or just let it go?
Bad Grade Week at Stuy Causes Students to “Tweak Out”
By Diya Mallu, Faiza Rumman, Syed Ali
Students share horror stories from “bad grade week,” a teacher-planned torture experience.
Humor New Year's Resolutions: Stuy & Celebrity Edition
By Erin Cho, Fiona 'Eve' Lin, Myles Vuong
New year, definitely new us…