Humor
Mars Bars and Mickey Mouse: The Stuy Student’s Guide to Movies for This Halloween Season
I’d like to extend a generous invitation to read this compilation of the Disney Halloween movies that Stuyvesant students will relate to the most.
The Ultimate ‘Why Us?’ College Essay
By Daniella Solomon, Sasha Ruinsky
Average student writes a totally ordinary “Why us?” college essay.
Getting Personal: The Edits of Stuyvesant’s College Essays
With early applications done, The Spectator asked students and teachers what the worst part of the essay editing process was.
Not Clickbait! Stuyvesant High School's Faculty Halloween Cooking Contest, Now Live!
By Selina Lin
A student documents the treats at the annual Stuyvesant faculty’s Halloween cooking contest.
Stuyves-haunt High School
By Lina Zheng
A student walks into Stuyvesant High School, but everything is extremely weird and a little suspicious.
US Congress, Where The Only Thing Being Passed Is The Zombie Virus
By Eli Smith
Zombies have taken over the US Congress, but has anything changed?
The Pipette Ghost
By Fiona Chen
A Stuy senior gets haunted by a chemistry-loving, pipette-shaped ghost, but more so by the thought of being rejected from college.
The Manifesto of the People’s Republic of Stuyvesant High School
The tyrannical Student Union, which was a mere front for the oppressive robotique class, was overthrown last Friday by teacher Karla Stalinan and her senior student Vladislava Leninova. Here is our vision for the new regime, ruled by YOU, the people.
The Second Failure of Congestion Pricing
Stuyvesant tries and fails to implement congestion pricing in the sixth floor hallway.
SHOCKING TEACHERS TAKE ON INTERNET DEBATES (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)
By Astrid Harrington, Erin Cho, Fiona 'Eve' Lin
Ever wanted to know what your favorite teachers, from Ms. Alonso to Mx. Stuzin, think about these controversial questions on the internet? Read this article to find out!
MatchGPT: Love Has Never Been More Real!
An advertisement for a new dating app that relies on AI technology.
Stuy Speaks For the Trees
By Diya Mallu
Principal Yu goes to new extremes to ‘save the trees,’ leading to unintended student fallout.
A Strange SATurday
You’ve found a way to break the system and take the paper SAT instead of the digital version.
Stuyvesant Experiences Insane Blackout!
By Alexis Qian
Exclusive coverage on Stuyvesant’s recent blackout! I cannot see what I’m writing (please help).
The Chances of Alien Invasion are High, but Our Percentage of Brainrot is Higher
By Fiona Chen
Aliens exist and seem to have hostile intentions against our race, but our recent astronomically high levels of brainrot have left these aliens unsure of whether or not to put their doomsday plan into motion.
Robotic Rats Rebellion?!?!
By Lina Zheng
A kid tried taking over school with robotic rats unsuccessfully.
4 Ways the Minnesota Timberwolves Could Have Won the Western Conference Finals
By Aahan Shah
If these situations occurred, the Timberwolves would’ve had a better chance at winning the Conference Finals.
Top 5 Ways to Escape From Junior Prom
JProm sounds great until you’re stranded in the middle of the Hudson River with no way to get out. Here are your top 5 ways to fix said dilemma!
An Anthology of Accounts Associated with the Dealer of IDs
a mysterious fake ID dealer sells ids to unsuspecting customers.
Hundreds Left in Shock Post-Camp Stuy
By Jai Shah
The Big Sibs are only responsible for like 63.7 percent of this.
The Rise and Fall of the Stuyvesant Floor
By Ryan Peng
The floors of Stuyvesant host a revolution due to their terrible treatment! Will the Stuyvesant community “step up” to the occasion, or will their plans fall out from under them, just like the floor?
Are You a True Stuy Student?
It is time to say goodbye to the Stuyvesant class of ‘24. But before they go, they have to take this quiz to see if they really lived up to their true “Stuy-potential”.
risoned At Stuyvesant
By Muhib Muhib
Trump will get a new prison cell at Stuyvesant High School, and somehow it’s the worst prison cell in history.
Pains of Prom
With junior and senior prom in a few weeks, the Spectator asks the Stuyvesant community about what they look forward to about the event.
Terminat[ing] Traffic Congestion
By Jai Shah
I for one, welcome our new traffic overlord (please don’t financially ruin me).
Ethos, Logos, and Pathos Walk Into a (Senior) Bar…
Rhetorical strategies are all around you. Sometimes they hold meetings on Tuesdays.
Raiders of the Lost Report Card
A PI enters an abandoned Stuyvesant in hopes of finding a rumored treasure on the 11th floor.
What Not to Do at Thanksgiving Dinner
By Dale Heller, Gabriella Hoefner
A comprehensive list of bad Thanksgiving habits to avoid.
One of Those Rare Times When You Shouldn’t Play the Triangle
A teacher isn’t sure what to do with the five students left in his class, and decides to keep them entertained in various ways.
The Chances of Alien Invasion are High, but Our Percentage of Brainrot is Higher
By Fiona Chen
Aliens exist and seem to have hostile intentions against our race, but our recent astronomically high levels of brainrot have left these aliens unsure of whether or not to put their doomsday plan into motion.
College Board Changes AP Spanish Test, Leaves Students Baffled
By Selina Lin, Tamiyyah Shafiq
College Board suddenly changes the AP Spanish exam to focus on Dora the Explorer.
Robotic Rats Rebellion?!?!
By Lina Zheng
A kid tried taking over school with robotic rats unsuccessfully.
4 Ways the Minnesota Timberwolves Could Have Won the Western Conference Finals
By Aahan Shah
If these situations occurred, the Timberwolves would’ve had a better chance at winning the Conference Finals.
Top 5 Ways to Escape From Junior Prom
JProm sounds great until you’re stranded in the middle of the Hudson River with no way to get out. Here are your top 5 ways to fix said dilemma!
An Anthology of Accounts Associated with the Dealer of IDs
a mysterious fake ID dealer sells ids to unsuspecting customers.
Hundreds Left in Shock Post-Camp Stuy
By Jai Shah
The Big Sibs are only responsible for like 63.7 percent of this.
The Rise and Fall of the Stuyvesant Floor
By Ryan Peng
The floors of Stuyvesant host a revolution due to their terrible treatment! Will the Stuyvesant community “step up” to the occasion, or will their plans fall out from under them, just like the floor?
Are You a True Stuy Student?
It is time to say goodbye to the Stuyvesant class of ‘24. But before they go, they have to take this quiz to see if they really lived up to their true “Stuy-potential”.
risoned At Stuyvesant
By Muhib Muhib
Trump will get a new prison cell at Stuyvesant High School, and somehow it’s the worst prison cell in history.
Pains of Prom
With junior and senior prom in a few weeks, the Spectator asks the Stuyvesant community about what they look forward to about the event.
The things i do to pay for my $270 senior prom ticket
By Erica Liu
I bring a horse as my date to senior prom.
Terminat[ing] Traffic Congestion
By Jai Shah
I for one, welcome our new traffic overlord (please don’t financially ruin me).
Ethos, Logos, and Pathos Walk Into a (Senior) Bar…
Rhetorical strategies are all around you. Sometimes they hold meetings on Tuesdays.
Raiders of the Lost Report Card
A PI enters an abandoned Stuyvesant in hopes of finding a rumored treasure on the 11th floor.
Prom Night Perfume: Which Scent Is For You?
Find out what the way you smell like reveals about who you are.
From Fires to Wi-fi Woes: The Stuyvesant Mystery of the Century
By Eva Kastoun
Fires, no AC, and bad Wi-Fi, the Stuyvesant administration is hiding something from us. Here’s what we found out…
Mars Bars and Mickey Mouse: The Stuy Student’s Guide to Movies for This Halloween Season
I’d like to extend a generous invitation to read this compilation of the Disney Halloween movies that Stuyvesant students will relate to the most.
The Ultimate ‘Why Us?’ College Essay
By Daniella Solomon, Sasha Ruinsky
Average student writes a totally ordinary “Why us?” college essay.
Getting Personal: The Edits of Stuyvesant’s College Essays
With early applications done, The Spectator asked students and teachers what the worst part of the essay editing process was.
Not Clickbait! Stuyvesant High School's Faculty Halloween Cooking Contest, Now Live!
By Selina Lin
A student documents the treats at the annual Stuyvesant faculty’s Halloween cooking contest.
Stuyves-haunt High School
By Lina Zheng
A student walks into Stuyvesant High School, but everything is extremely weird and a little suspicious.
US Congress, Where The Only Thing Being Passed Is The Zombie Virus
By Eli Smith
Zombies have taken over the US Congress, but has anything changed?
The Pipette Ghost
By Fiona Chen
A Stuy senior gets haunted by a chemistry-loving, pipette-shaped ghost, but more so by the thought of being rejected from college.
The Manifesto of the People’s Republic of Stuyvesant High School
The tyrannical Student Union, which was a mere front for the oppressive robotique class, was overthrown last Friday by teacher Karla Stalinan and her senior student Vladislava Leninova. Here is our vision for the new regime, ruled by YOU, the people.
MatchGPT: Love Has Never Been More Real!
An advertisement for a new dating app that relies on AI technology.
The Second Failure of Congestion Pricing
Stuyvesant tries and fails to implement congestion pricing in the sixth floor hallway.
Stuy Speaks For the Trees
By Diya Mallu
Principal Yu goes to new extremes to ‘save the trees,’ leading to unintended student fallout.
A Strange SATurday
You’ve found a way to break the system and take the paper SAT instead of the digital version.
SHOCKING TEACHERS TAKE ON INTERNET DEBATES (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)
By Astrid Harrington, Erin Cho, Fiona 'Eve' Lin
Ever wanted to know what your favorite teachers, from Ms. Alonso to Mx. Stuzin, think about these controversial questions on the internet? Read this article to find out!