Going Back to Fantasy Stuy

It’s September, so now we’ve got to say goodbye to somehow doing nothing in a chaotic way and go back to Fantasy Stuy. Time to take a hit off our magic vapes filled with potions and board the subways run by the MTA (Magic Transportation Agony) and prepare to enter the gates of our school.

Entering Fantasy Stuy, I noticed the enchanted staircases that are supposed to bring us from the first to 69th floor with ease. Of course, they’re still disenchanted because the world hates us. I took out my Stone of Far Speech to complain about it on the FaceScroll group when suddenly, a figure teleported behind me.

Fantasy Brian Moran. Crap.

“Stone and wand, please,” he said.

With a sigh, I gave the objects to him. Once he teleported away, I made my way to my homeroom and got my schedule.

My first class was period 28, taught by the necromancer corpse of Aristotle. As I enchanted the doodles in my planner to Naruto run, I could hear the kids behind me talking about raiding Fantasy Area 51. The kid next to me fell asleep, but woke up suddenly when the teacher asked for a jewel. He then immediately took out his Fantasy Juul, which subsequently got summoned away from him.

“This class is so boring,” I whispered to myself. I made plans to go to the Talos automation later to remove this class. I then proceeded to throw my Muji quill into the air a few times before it hit the Board of Enhanced Intelligence, when it immediately got taken by the teacher. I reminded myself that I have to endure 10 more months of this. And it’s junior year, so I had to try to care. I proceeded to have a mental breakdown in class.

Every other class went similarly. It seemed that time moved slower in Fantasy Stuy, mostly because it was enchanted to make time go as slowly as possible unless you had a free or lunch, which moved faster than a phoenix could burn itself up. (Man, that is a mood right now.) Finally, after about 70 different looped periods, I had a free period, which I spent taking a fantasy nap in the Magic Hudson staircase. Well, trying to take a fantasy nap. I was kept awake by a magic vaper having an argument with a couple “levitating” in the staircase. While I did make a Bubble of Silence around me, I could still see someone shoving magic mushrooms down their throat—the fun kind, not the ones that suffocated me in Potions class.

My lunch period was next. For lunch, I went to Normal McDonald’s. Just plain old Normal McDonald’s. Across the street, I could see someone buying totally-not-illegal magic food from Regular Halal Cart. I wondered if they have a fantasy food permit.

Finally, the torture that was existing in Fantasy Stuy was over. Tired, I gulped down a potion of total stamina mixed with some caffeine pills and lined up to talk to the Talos automation. When it was my turn, I asked Talos if it could get rid of all my classes. In return, it punched me in the face. Much better than I expected!

Once I recovered, I went to Fantasy Brian Moran’s office to get back my Stone of Far Speech. Tired from my long day, I began texting my friend Fantasy L Vaysman dumb memes from a fictional Not-Fantasy Stuy. Wonder how cursed that universe must be...