Chrisabella Javier (chrisabella-javier)

Chrisabella Javier (‘21) is a former Humor editor. They enjoy making stuff up as they go; that’s how they’ve gotten through all of high school. Chrisabella has two dogs that attack them for food and like to menace Oliver. They are sick of writing this bio.

Humor

Hey Idiots, Guess Who Got Into a College. That’s Right, Me.

Chrisabella Javier

I got into college. Take THAT, idiots.

Issue 13, Volume 111

Humor

How to Make Your Voice Heard (When You’re a Minor)

Chrisabella Javier

This is how to make a difference in the upcoming elections when you aren’t of voting age.

Issue 2, Volume 111

News

Junior Caucus: Leo Smulansky and Ethan Brovender

Chrisabella Javier, Erin Lee, Rachel Ok

Issue 2, Volume 111

Features

Camping in the Time of COVID

Chrisabella Javier

An exploration of a summer camp experience during a pandemic.

Issue 1, Volume 111

Humor

Real Events of the 2010s

Chrisabella Javier, Kelly Yip, Oliver Stewart

Issue 17, Volume 110

Humor

Student Union Rumored to be Dead, Brain Dead, or Just Fine

Chrisabella Javier

Look, has anyone seen any of them face to face in the past month?

Issue 15, Volume 110

Humor

Stuyvesant Halts Increased Tallness

Chrisabella Javier

Get rid of all the tall people.

Issue 12, Volume 110

Arts and Entertainment

Vienna La Vida

Chrisabella Javier

Junior SING!. Enough said.

Issue 11, Volume 110

Arts and Entertainment

Down the Hole

Chrisabella Javier, Oliver Stewart

Well, it’s a Soph-Frosh SING!

Issue 11, Volume 110

Humor

Sudden Rise in Perfect Eyesight As Decade Begins

Chrisabella Javier

People suddenly develop perfect vision as the new decade comes.

Issue 8, Volume 110

Humor

An Open Letter to Swim Gym Kids

Chrisabella Javier

A couple of requests to swim gym students.

Issue 6, Volume 110

Humor

Stuy Terrors

Chrisabella Javier, Ishq Gupta

It’s all just a dream, right?

Issue 6, Volume 110

Humor

Stuyvesant No Longer Legally Considered A School

Chrisabella Javier

Stuy Is No Longer A (Legal) School.

Issue 5, Volume 110

Humor

How Dealing With The Devil Shaped Me As A Person

Chrisabella Javier

A college essay on how I made a demonic deal.

Issue 4, Volume 110

Humor

THE CUBE. THE CUBE. THE CUBE.

Chrisabella Javier

THE CUBE comes to Stuy in all of its glory

Issue 3, Volume 110

Humor

There Ain’t No Rule A Dog Can’t Play For Stuy

Chrisabella Javier

Air Bud joins Stuy, does a sports.

Issue 2, Volume 110

Humor

Going Back to Fantasy Stuy

Chrisabella Javier

The first day of a magic version of Stuy.

Issue 1, Volume 110

Humor

The TRUTH Behind Your AP Exam

Chrisabella Javier

They’re not as good as you think—more at 11.

Issue 17, Volume 109

Humor

Time For Some ACADEMIC DISHONESTY

Chrisabella Javier

Spec is corrupt, is this really a surprise?

Issue 15, Volume 109

Humor

Spoiled Rich Kid’s Mad Mom Won’t Buy Harvard Degree

Chrisabella Javier

This is CHILD ABUSE.

Issue 14, Volume 109

Humor

SU Spends Entire Budget Corrupting SING!, Faces a Consequence

Chrisabella Javier

The SU Learns that their actions might have consequences.

Issue 13, Volume 109

Humor

Kung Fu Tea: Resurrection

Chrisabella Javier, Laura Ilioaei

What do you do when your only hope (boba) disappears?

Issue 13, Volume 109

Humor

Stuy Students Collectively Forget School Is Not Over

Chrisabella Javier

Apparently it is not, in fact, summer break.

Issue 10, Volume 109

Humor

The 2019 Dystopia Was Supposed To Be Cool

Chrisabella Javier

How come we got the controlling mega corps and not the cool aesthetic?

Issue 9, Volume 109

Humor

Stuyvesant Falls Into Anarchy Over Big Fish

Chrisabella Javier

A Facebook Messenger game sends the school into chaos.

Issue 8, Volume 109

Humor

The Char Char and Marky Mark Project

Chrisabella Javier

The strange project behind the morning announcers.

Issue 7, Volume 109

Humor

How To Get Adopted By A Rich Manhattan Mom

Chrisabella Javier

A guide to being able to live the good life in Manhattan.

Issue 6, Volume 109

Humor

New Names For Stuyvesant High School

Chrisabella Javier

Due to the history behind our current namesake, new names are proposed for our high school.

Issue 5, Volume 109

Humor

Opinions Department Front for Spy Agency: The Conspiracy

Chrisabella Javier

The mission to reveal and stop the Opinions department and their covert operations.

Issue 4, Volume 109

Humor

Escalator Men to the Rescue

Chrisabella Javier, Justin Lee

The solution to the long-lasting Stuyvesant Escalator Problem.

Issue 3, Volume 109

Humor

Incoming Sophomores Brace for Incoming Irrelevance

Chrisabella Javier

As the school year approaches, the thought of being irrelevant frightens rising sophomores.

Issue 1, Volume 109

Humor

Thanos Runs For SU

Chrisabella Javier

The Mad Titan Thanos offers some ways to improve the Stuyvesant Student Union.

Issue 16, Volume 108

Chrisabella Javier's art, photos, and other media: